Matthew 18: 15 – 17

“If your fellow believer sins against you, go and tell him in private what he did wrong. It he listens you have helped that person to be your brother or sister again. But if he refuses to listen, go to him again and take one or two other people with you. “Every case can be proved by two or three witnesses." if he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, then treat him like a person who does not believe in God or like a tax collector.”

I wonder if this isn’t one of the most neglected and less taught passages in the Bible!!! If we were to follow these steps I believe it would solve over half the problems in the church, families, and between friends.

As I prayed about writing about forgiveness, I felt directed that I should relate just a few personal issues that we went through. I want others to be encouraged to pray for a loving attitude, and then follow the biblical steps to forgiveness and reconciliation immediately before a root of bitterness takes control in your lives.

Many years ago we were going through a major stressful time. During a four week time, a loved one was on life support, then death, and we traveled out of town for the funeral, we arrived back home with a great need to have the support and concern from our church fellowship, especially from the leaders that we worked with.
No one contacted us. In that grieving, confused, and hurting condition we made a wrong decision. Instead of going to the brethren about the situation we decided not to go back to church until we heard from them. That didn’t happen. After two months we had a young couple come visit us wanting to know what was happening, they told us that people in the church were being told not to have any fellowship with us.

Sadly it was many years until forgiveness and healing happened in this situation.

Two wrongs:  We didn’t follow scriptural principles.   The Church leadership didn’t follow scriptural principles.

Principle #1 (Matt, 18:15)

First go to your brother or sister in Christ privately. I don’t think this can be over emphasized. Never assume that you have heard the truth until you have heard both sides. Many alleged trespasses between brethren are a result of misunderstandings.  There is a great temptation to talk to others first which can cause irreversible damage. Remember words once spoken can never be taken back.
James 1:19 “ Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

Principle #2 (Matt. 18:16)

If your first attempt to resolve the issue does not meet with success, you are then to take one or two other believers with you and again reason together with your brother or sister in Christ.

Principle #3 (Matt. 18: 17a)

If the first and second attempts fail, Jesus said, “tell it to the church" I personally belief that this means the leadership of the church, not the entire assembly of believers. Finally if the offending party will not listen to you when you go again with the leaders, pastor and or the elders of the church, then you have done all that you can do to meet the scriptural requirements.

Principle #4  (Matt. 18:17b)

Finally only after these three prescribed attempts fail, then and only then are we permitted by scripture to separate from fellowshipping with the unrepentant offender. 

There can still be hope for reconciliation in the future. Even if they will not respond to our efforts for reconciliation, we are required to forgive.  (Matt. 6:14-15) “If you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins.” 

We must face the fact that we all fail at times. We are not perfect. If we want our sins forgiven, we in turn must forgive others.

Continue to pray for this person or persons, (In God’s Love). I know in my own case I had to be honest with God about that and ask Him to help me to love and pray for them. I wouldn’t have been able to sincerely pray for my offenders without God’s help.

I give praise to the Lord; after many years there was reconciliation; God brought this about in a very unique way. (That’s another story). What a great God we serve!!! He loves us so much that He gave His one and only Son so that whoever believes in Jesus will not be lost, but will have eternal life. John 3:16

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself!

Biblical Authority

Real Authentic Christianity is “the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints” (Jude 3). Christian truth is not subject to change or amendment. It’s not nullified by changes in worldly opinion or standards of political correctness. It doesn’t change for every new generation.

Biblical Christianity is all about truth. (2 Peter 1:3). “His divine power has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue” Scripture is not only wholly truth; it is also the highest standard of all truth – the rule by which all claims of truth must be measured. We don’t need to consult any other source for spiritual or moral principles to govern our lives.

The truth does not need to be reinvented or readjusted in order to make it suitable for the times in which we live. Changing times do not change the truth of Gods Word. Scripture is as unchanging as God Himself. (1 Peter1: 25). “But the word of the LORD endures forever” In other words, we need to adapt our understanding to the truth of God’s Word, not try to manipulate Scripture in a vain effort to harmonize it with the changing opinions of this world.

(1 Timothy 6:20) “ Guard what was committed to your trust, avoiding the profane and idle babblings and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge” The truth of Scripture is something precious that must be carefully handled; a true understanding of Scripture involves conscientious and diligent study. Second Timothy 2:15 says, “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

The truth is everything to a Christian. That is why we are called to refute error, defend the truth, and proclaim Scripture as the supreme truth against every lie propagated by the world.

There is a place for social interaction in the church, many believers are very lonely and need fellowship and encouragement, at the same time we must be careful to have a balance and not ignore the teaching of the  doctrines of the faith.
Many modern evangelicals claim that they believe Scripture, but then fall short of proclaiming it with authority. They are willing to give lip service to the truth of Scripture, but in practice they strip it of its authority by not boldly proclaiming scriptural truths. If the Bible is true, then it is also authoritative. As divinely revealed truth, it carries the full weight of God’s own authority.

Rather than rightly dividing the word and proclaiming it as truth, many churches now ask at the end of a message for any one who would like to accept Jesus as Saviour to come forward. The problem is that many messages are given without a clear presentation of the meaning of salvation. Therefore a person that is sitting in the pew who is unlearned about scripture will not understand the meaning of the salvation call.
You may think I am far out in what I am saying, but I was in that situation, searching for seven years from church to church without hearing the A.B.C.'s  of the salvation message.

I praise God for a booklet written by John R. Rice "What Must I Do To Be Saved" I read the entire booklet right away when I found it, I signed the commitment card and  received Jesus Christ as my Saviour that same day. That was 46 years ago.

We must recover our love for biblical truth, as well as our conviction that it is unquestionable truth. We have a message of truth in Christ to present to the world.
John 14:6 Jesus said,  “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father except through me”

We need to proclaim the truth of God’s Word from the housetops, and quit playing along with those who suggest we are being arrogant if we claim to know anything for certain. We do have the truth, because God has revealed it in the Scriptures and has been gracious to open our eyes to see it. We would be sinning if we tried to keep the truth to ourselves.

The Bible is not just another idea to be thrown into the public discussion being accepted or rejected as the individual sees fit. It is the Word of God, and it demands to be received as such to the exclusion of all other opinions. The Bible must be the rule by which every other opinion is evaluated. If you claim to believe the Bible at all, you ultimately must accept its authority. This of course is a profound threat to the tolerance of a society that loves its sin and thinks of compromise as a good thing. To speak boldly and declare that God has spoken with finality is neither stylish nor politically correct. But if we truly believe the Bible is the Word of God, how can we handle it any other way?

1 Peter 4:11 “If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God.”

Commandments For Healthy Living.

People may forget what you say and what you do, but they rarely forget how you make them feel .

There are so many people that are hurting and lonely, there are many little ways we can show love and bring Healing to their lives.

Speak To People
We really need to take time to look for the areas that we can make a difference.
How about before or after church in the lobby, bible study, or fellowship groups?
Is there someone standing alone with no one speaking to them?
I know what that feels like. I have been there; possibly you may have had that experience also.
Some one coming up and greeting that person may determine whether they will come back or look for another church or group to find people who will care about them.

Visiting and Counseling
When we are talking to people or listening it is important to look at them directly and pay attention.
If we are looking around or off into space people may feel that we are not really interested in what they want to share with us. So often people solve their own problems when they talk things over with some one else.
We must pay attention and show people that we care.

Home Visiting
This is an area where there must be some set time limits. There are people that are so lonely that they will attempt to keep you visiting with them for extended lengths of time. If this fits your time schedule then go for it, if not start at the beginning of all your visits with a time limit and stick to it. For a shut-ins or an elderly person you may want to bring a special home baked treat or even a small plant, possibly some flowers from your garden or whatever you know that will cheer up their day.
Laughter is a good gift. Be upbeat and cheerful.
If you are unable to visit a short phone call can mean a lot to a lonely or hurting person.

Hospital Visits
Short visits are recommended, no longer than 10 to 15 minutes, more than that will weary the patient.
Make sure that the patient can see you without having to move positions, never sit on the bed, this can cause discomfort, speak clearly. If you wish to pray with the patient always ask for permission first, if they agree you may want to hold their hand, again ask if that is okay before touching them.
As a Spiritual Care visitor in the hospital I have found that these little courtesies are very important.

Smile At People
It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile. I have noticed that even people I don’t know smile back.
"Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting."

Be An Encourager
We all like to know that we have contributed something of value into other people’s lives and also that we have brought encouragement to someone else.
Tell people when they have done or said something that has been helpful to you. Sincere compliments are encouraging.

Send Cards for different occasions; make a phone call or write someone a note to tell them that you are praying for them.
When sending cards to people that are going through a long illness I make hug cards the size of business cards (Usually with a cute bear on them) and enclose them in a suitable greeting card. I must admit I don’t send the little hug cards to the men folk, only the ladies.

Be Thankful
Thank people for the service that they have given you.  Please if your going to leave a tract in a restaurant be sure to leave a good tip also. Don't take every thing for granted, acknowledge every courtesy that is given to you and appreciate it with a simple "Thank You".

That's only a start, do you have time to take someone shopping, take them or the family a meal, do some dusting and cleaning in their homes, do the laundry, read to them, do you play a musical instrument or sing? We all have different gifting and abilities, lets use them to help make this world a better place to live in.

Encouragement goes straight to the heart.
Exercise Daily. Walk With The Lord.
 May each moment of your day be lived to glorify God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ

Hope in the heart puts a smile on the face.